Picking the funniest horse names at the 2024 Kentucky Derby (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

Let’s rank the funniest horse names ahead of the Kentucky Derby this Saturday! Horse racing is a tough sport to follow. It’s difficult to bet on because you aren’t very familiar with the athletes (horses).

So, with so much in the air we decided to help you out a bit. Since you might not know a lot about the animals that could make betting on the Kentucky Derby very difficult.

Funniest Horse Names At 2024 Kentucky Derby

It’s time to get your fanciest outfit ready and find the biggest hat you own. The Kentucky Derby happens this Saturday the 4th of May! It’s arguably the biggest day in horse racing. Some refer to it as the most entertaining two minutes in all of sports.

Betting on the Kentucky Derby is another way to make the race fun and entertaining. However, you don’t want to just throw your money away betting on a random horse or the horse with the best odds. Since you probably don’t follow these horses year around or know much about the sport, we found a different way for you to pick your favorite and place your bets. So, we found the 5 horses with the funniest names.

Some of these names are fantastic. Other names of competing horses don’t make a lot of sense…but that’s what makes them so great. For a couple of years now I’ve placed bets on the Kentucky Derby based on name alone and I’ve actually won some money! So, it’s a proven tactic that works (allegedly).

Of course, when you only pick 5 of the best names you’re leaving a lot off the list! There are some good ones that didn’t make the top 5 but still deserve a shoutout as an Honorable Mention. That list includes horses like Domestic Product, Epic Ride, and Honor Marie. So, we’ll provide some of our favorite names competing in the 2024 Kentucky Derby and you can make your bets accordingly!

  • Just a Touch

    Just a Touch is probably my favorite horse name this year. I love when they name horses after phrases and use names that aren’t real names. Does the trainer really refer to the horse as “Just a Touch” every time? I just can’t wrap my head around that. My money is going on Just a Touch.

  • Mystik Dan

    I love the spelling of Mystik. It adds a little extra flavor. Additionally, I find it funny when animals have human names. So, Mystik Dan is 2/2. I’m going to have to put some money on this horse.

  • T O Password

    What does this even mean? What does T O stand for? Time Out? Terrell Owens? I have so many questions. This password has me stumped and now I need to verify that I am indeed a human and not a robot. If anyone knows what it stands for please let me know.

  • Grand Mo The First

    This is such an honorable name. Was he named the first before there was a second? That’s odd. If so, what was the horses original name? Just Mo? Again, I’m left with many questions and few answers. Hopefully, this gets addressed during the race.

  • Society Man

    Hey, that’s not a man. It’s a horse! Referring to the horse as a man instantly adds some humor. Is it the funniest of the lot? No, it’s not. However, it’s interesting enough to make the list. I might have to throw a couple bucks Society Man’s way during the race.