How Does He Tell His Family He’s In A Poly Relationship?
Jack called The Cooper and Anthony Show because he went from being in regular hetero relationships to his first poly relationship. He asked our Dr. Cooper how to tell friends and family. The good doc said this:
“You have a couple of options, you can just say “my partner” to people and not give anyone the extra details because it isn’t their business and it doesn’t matter. Your second option is for people who are closer to you. Who you may introduce your girlfriend and her partner to.
ONE: WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVE
The first thing you need to ask yourself, is, what is your motive for telling them? Do you want them to be happy for you because you’re happy? Do you feel dishonest NOT saying anything? Or are you trying to shock people? The reason to consider these things is to prepare yourself for their reaction after you tell them. Each of those warrant different reactions, so figure out what the reaction you’re looking for before you say something.
TWO: KEEP IT POSITIVE
Then how do you tell them? You just tell them exactly how you told us, “I was a serial monogamist then I met this girl and here’s the situation. I would never have imagined I could be this happy.” Focus on the positive, the things you like about her and the relationship you share.
THREE: STUPID QUESTIONS
Then sit back and be prepared for stupid questions, you can invite them to get them out of the way, like what if you want to be married and what about kids and then when their done remind them that our society is so geared towards hetero couples and there are relationships out there that make people happy they may have never even considered and that you happen to be in one of them.
Telling your family about being in a polyamorous relationship can be a sensitive and challenging conversation. Here are some key points to consider when approaching this topic with your loved ones.
- Self-reflection: Take time to understand your own feelings and motivations for being in a polyamorous relationship. Clarify your own values and expectations, which will help you articulate your choices to your family.
- Educate yourself: Familiarize yourself with the concept of polyamory and its various forms. Research and gather resources that can help explain it and its benefits to your family members.
- Timing and context: Choose an appropriate time and setting to have this conversation. Ensure that everyone involved has enough time and space to process the information without distractions or time constraints.
- Open communication: Be honest, respectful, and empathetic when sharing your feelings and experiences with your family. Clearly explain that polyamory is a consensual and ethical approach to relationships, emphasizing the importance of open communication and trust among all parties involved.
- Address concerns: Anticipate that your family may have concerns or misconceptions about polyamory. Be prepared to address questions about jealousy, commitment, and emotional well-being. Share personal anecdotes or provide examples of successful polyamorous relationships to illustrate positive aspects.
- Boundaries and expectations: Discuss your boundaries and expectations with your family, highlighting that all participants in your polyamorous relationship prioritize consent, honesty, and mutual respect. Reassure your loved ones that their relationships with you will not be diminished or devalued.
- Patience and understanding: Recognize that your family may need time to process and understand your choices. Allow them the space to ask questions, express their emotions, and adapt to the new information. Practice patience and empathy during this transitional period.
- Seek support: Encourage your family to explore resources that can help them understand polyamory better. Recommend books, articles, or support groups that can provide additional information and support for them to process their feelings and gain a broader perspective on non-traditional relationship structures.
Remember, every family dynamic is unique and their reactions may vary. It’s important to approach this conversation with love, patience, and a willingness to listen and understand each other’s perspectives. Building trust and maintaining open lines of communication will be crucial in navigating this new aspect of your life together.