Sex With An Ex? Not If You’re Trying To End Things
Q: Carla had a question for Cooper and Anthony about her ex husband of five years. How can she still have sex with him but emotionally disconnect?
A: The answer is you can’t. Another, rare, type of person can but most of us cannot. All you’re doing is keeping your mind and body trained and attached to your ex, which is going to hold you back from creating relationships with other people, and from gaining “closure” from your past relationship and moving on.
This is a time you should be detaching from him, not attaching to him further. Huge mistake. Stop sleeping with him if your goal is to get away from him emotionally If you really want help in getting yourself to detach from him, get him to tell you about all the women he’s sleeping with and the ones he cheated on you with. That’ll do it.
Engaging in sexual activities with an ex-partner might seem enticing at times, but it’s generally a decision fraught with potential risks and complications. Here are a few reasons why you should reconsider getting intimate with an ex:
- Emotional turmoil: Sexual encounters with an ex can reignite old feelings and create confusion. It’s challenging to draw clear boundaries and separate physical intimacy from emotional attachment, especially if there are unresolved emotions or lingering hopes for reconciliation. This can lead to a rollercoaster of emotions and reopen wounds that were starting to heal.
- Regression and stagnation: Having sex with an ex can hinder personal growth and keep you stuck in the past. It can prevent you from moving forward, exploring new relationships, and discovering new aspects of yourself. By revisiting a previous romantic connection, you risk reliving old patterns and inhibiting personal development.
- False hope and unmet expectations: Engaging in sexual activities with an ex can create false hope for a reconciliation or a rekindling of the relationship. Physical intimacy can cloud judgment and lead to unrealistic expectations, leaving you disappointed and heartbroken if your ex isn’t on the same page.
- Jeopardizing future relationships: Maintaining a sexual relationship with an ex can complicate future romantic endeavors. It becomes difficult to establish trust and emotional intimacy with a new partner if you’re still involved with your past. It can also cause unnecessary jealousy, insecurity, and comparisons, damaging potential future relationships.
- Health and safety concerns: Sexual encounters always come with health risks, even with someone you’ve been intimate with in the past. It’s important to prioritize your sexual health and practice safe sex, which may be more challenging or overlooked when emotions are involved.
While it might be tempting to rekindle physical connections with an ex, it’s essential to consider the potential emotional, psychological, and physical consequences. Taking time for personal growth, healing, and focusing on future relationships will likely lead to greater overall happiness and satisfaction in the long run.